Hey Senpai
by Sapphire X Dreams
Summary: Deidara can't sleep. Maybe it's because the new Akatsuki member, Tobi, is keeping him awake with annoying questions. crackfic; NO PAIRINGS!


**Hey Senpai**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Naruto Shippuuden. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto and that's it. I just own this idea and the fanfic.

Stage One: A Bother

Deidara yawned. It had been a long and tiring day for him. First with loosing both arms, then hearing about Sasori's death, then having to fight Team Gai and Kakashi and the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, then having to strangle the stupid new member Tobi with his feet. Darn Tobi. He was so annoying and stupid. Was this guy even for real??? He was so stupid! That didn't matter now, all that mattered was getting some sleep. Deidara stretched and then fell onto his bed. After pulling the covers onto himself, he prepared to float off to DreamLand. But just as Deidara's eyes closed, he felt and heard someone nudging him. "Pssssssssssst, Hey Senpai?" Deidara opened one eye, then the other. "Tobi... what do you want?" Deidara groaned. "Tobi wants to ask you a question." Tobi whispered. Deidara rolled his eyes. There Tobi was with his weird way of speaking in third person. "Why... is the sky blue?" Deidara opened his eyes once more and glared at Tobi. "I mean. It could be pink or green. But no... the sky has to be... blue." "The blueness in the sky are atoms in the atmosphere scattering blue light. Hm. Yellow, red, green, and other colors aren't scattered as well, so that's why you see a blue sky, now go to bed. Hm." Deidara explained. "Oh. Deidara-senpai you're so smart. Now I know." Tobi said then he disappeared.

Stage Two: Getting On My Nerves

Less than a minute later, Deidara felt someone nudging him and whispering "Hey Senpai?" Deidara opened his eyes to see Tobi in front of his face yet again. "What is it this time?"Deidara said glaring at him. "I've gots another question." Tobi whispered. Deidara didn't even try to correct the retard's broken grammar. "Why do people age?" Tobi asked. "Ugh." Deidara groaned. "Aging is the result of failure of the body's cells and organs to replace and repair themselves. Hm. There's a limit to how many times a cell needs to divide. Hm." Deidara finished explaining. "Oh." Tobi nodded. "I get it. Cells and atoms. Thanks Senpai, you are very smart." Tobi disappered. And Deidara came up with the conclusion, Tobi really _didn't _get it.

Stage Three: I'm Ticked

Deidara, yet again felt someone nudging him and whispering "Hey Senpai....?"Deidara opened his eyes "What Tobi?!" He almost yelled. "Tobi's got another question to ask you." Tobi answered. Deidara glared at him. "How do people have a certain hair and eye color?" Tobi asked. Deidara was rather surprised at this. Hadn't this idiot never heard of genes? "Heredity." Deidara answered. "They get hair and eye color from genes. Hm. Sometimes, parents have green eyes and their child comes out with blue. Hm. That's probably because one of the kid's relatives had blue eyes. Like the kid's dad's mom had blue eyes or something. Hm." Deidara explained. "Oh! You're so smart Deidara-senpai!" Tobi replied. Deidara glared at him. "It's late. Let me sleep." Deidara waited for Tobi to leave."Of course it is." And with that, Tobi disappeared.

Stage Four: You're_ This _Close

Deidara felt someone nudging him. "Hey Senpai?" He didn't even have enough time to close his eyes yet. "What, Tobi?!" Deidara was _this_ close to yelling. "Tobi has another question." Tobi answered jumping up and down. "What is it _this_ time? Hm." Deidara asked. "Why do we need food?" Deidara sweat-dropped. You've gotta be kidding me? "Food gives us energy to do daily activities. Such as training, and kicking (glances at Tobi) and punching (glances at Tobi) and stuff like that. Hm." Deidara explained. He didn't want to explain what happened if you had no food and became sluggish and needed to sleep. He didn't think Tobi would get the drift. "Oh. I was just wondering. Your so smart. Deidara-senpai." Deidara glared at him. "Goodnight, Deidara-senpai." "Hey, Tobi. No more questions. Hm." Deidara replied. "Sure thing, Senpai!" Tobi disappears.

Stage Five: I AM PISSED!!!!!!

Deidara closed his eyes, and then turned over just to be nudged in the back. "Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst, Hey Senpai?" TOBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Deidara jerked around to give Tobi a death glare. "Tobi has another question." Tobi replied defensively. I told you no more questions." Deidara glared at Tobi. "But Tobi has this _very_ important question!!" Tobi whined. "No! No more questions. If you come in here and say 'Hey Senpai' one more time, you die. Got it?!" "But- "GOT IT?!" "Yes." Tobi saddened and then disappeared. "Deidara-senpai's probably just kidding." Tobi reassured himself. "Besides, this question is incredibly important." Tobi stopped walking, and turned around and ran off back to Deidara's room.

Stage Six: Boom

Tobi tiptoed over to Deidara like he usually did. And then he began to nudge him. Deidara turned around slowly which only meant he was angry as hell. Tobi saw his death glare and smiled inside the mask. "Tobi's question is..." Tobi laughed nervously. "Why are you glaring at me?" Deidara still glared at him. "What?! It's not like I said 'Hey Senpai' or anything." Tobi stared at Deidara who had heard the dreaded words. "Ah ha ha... oops." Tobi said trying to take it back. But it was too late, explosions were heard throughout the hideout.

Early the next morning, the rest of the Akatsuki entered the room and saw a rather terrible looking Tobi on the floor. They then looked up and saw Deidara in DreamLand.

oWaRi


End file.
